Kobold Storytelling

Around a half eaten carcass and surrounded by old bones, a circle of newcomers listen to Chief tell the stories of the tribe’s recent expansion. Most of the tales center around a figure depicted in the mural on the Southern wall. It shows a dragon-man tossing a boulder off of himself (the very stone block that lays in the middle of this room) and roaring. His words, in barely legible Draconic, are “The sky cannot kill me!”  

“Thems bigguns been comin’ here for two hands a days1, bringin’ nice meats and tasty beers n help us’n’s celebrate grown’ big n strong. Thems killie tha’ ogre monster tha kept us small! We boss of them stairs up now, and this whole place!

“We have more rooms fer livin’ in, an’ our very own Dragon named Smithy an’ his best friend th’ Glad orc! Our Dragon is so clever tha’ he made hisself almost look like a man an’ he goes inta town an’ takes th’ human’s shirts!”

Here the Chief points proudly to a pile of human shirts.

“Smithy has biggun minions too. A scary demonlady thing an’ a real dwarf! An’ th’ Glad orc. Th’ Glad orc made us tha’ nicy-nice2 song on th’ wall o’er there.”

The Eastern wall bears a song written in Common. “It’s raining, it’s pouring/The old man is drunk/He fell down and broke his head/And now I have a new bowl!”

“We be brave when they go down th’ scary stairs into th’ deep dark. We tells them about th’ ghost wind. It creeps up on you and you die! Buts they go anyways, so some of us go too. We all get so many shinies! Some die. It is sad. But many more wanta go fer th’ shinies! Such beautiful metals!

“Our Dragon Smithy chase away th’ ghost wind! An’ fights skelingtons, wiv our help. We gets short bows and arrows, an’ a sword an’ gold. An’ scrap metal, a’course. Down in th’ even deeper dark are dead-alive humans! We not be down there much.

“Much better to be up here! Wiv th’ beer and th’ meat! An’ now there are so many more of us, fer havin’ a better party an’ servin’ our Dragon Lord Smithy!  

“Vinra, you already made a good start on servin’ Smithy wiv maken tha’ human long legbone club. Tha’ll be so funny to beat a human in th’ face wiv! Even a  dead-alive human tha’ won’ get th’ joke.”

1. “Hands of days” is a term  from the Deltan in the Bobaverse, written by Dennis E. Taylor

2. “Nicey-nice” is a term from the trolls in The 10th Kingdom, a TV Miniseries that aired in the US on NBC in February of 2000.

Hullbeck Town Official Histories

Year 441 Modern Age

(Books available for public perusal at the Town Officiator’s Office. Recent years written in her clear hand.)

Week 19 Happenings of Note

Some say this shall ever after be known as the Year of the Earthquake. The great earthquake did open a mighty rent in the foundation of the cultivated forest to the west, where we had for many generations taken our timber, giving fiends of every description lodging in the ruins thusly uncovered. The Town Council did send out a call for adventures to come clean out the infestation, fearing for the children and our livelihoods.

There reported for the love of money a half-orc named Glad, a dragonborn named Smithy, a tiefling named Mirage, and a dwarf named Treay. They set in creating such a nuisance around the town as we has not seen in a generation. The troupe of adventures was then induced to be on their way to their calling in the forest to the west by a payment of gold by the Mayor.

The troupe returned that evening, having defeated an ogre. They brought pieces of the beast back with them, as proof of the kill and grim trophies both. That evening the adventures set to drinking with a fanatical determination, and great was the mischief that ensued.

Let it be known that now and forever after Glad Half-Orc is banned from the Temple of Tyr, for profaning morning services with a wine bottle, his ill tongue, and bodily fluids.

Let it be known that now and forever more Treay Dwarf is banned from the Temple of Sacnet, for profaning services of the Temple by impersonating a priest. 

Let it be known that of the 16 human foundlings and lost souls at the town orphanage, Mirage Tiefling has adopted every one. She pledges to house them and keep them well with all the fruits of her livelihood.

Thus it was that Mirage bought up all the tents in the market and set about to house the children who now were her charge. She clothed the children and gave them purpose, to run messages in the town and do other tasks for a small sum of coin. At a near street corner a child in a bright tabard can often be seen idling, waiting to be called upon to act as a runner. 

Joyous day! We hereby announce the wedding of Brizzelda to Smithy Dragonborn, “The Impenetrable” and “Conqueror of the Skies”. Long may their union flourish.

Upon subsequent days, the adventuring troupe made a habit of going out to the ruin in the cultivated forest in the morning and returning in the evening. They often took with them a cartful of the leavings from the butcher shop and caskets of cheap beer. They bring back tales that raise the hairs on even the most stoic head, of ghost winds that pick the flesh clean off of the bone of anyone unlucky enough to be caught in them, and roving packs of skeletons and zombies. Truly these uncouth adventurers are a blessing, lest we be faced with these monstrosities alone. They have become a part of our town, adopting orphans and marrying into our families.